We had a very quiet weekend but that isn’t to say that it was without anxious moments! For me one aspect of my anxiety is struggling to eat out and other people’s houses are included in this. On Saturday we went for dinner at my parents (I live with my grandparents but that’s a story for another day) and on Sunday we went for dinner with my partner’s family.
For me, Saturday was the easiest day out of the two both because it was a shorter car journey and I felt more comfortable around my parents and brother. I knew that if I needed to step outside for a moment then nobody would question it. I even successfully managed to pop into town with my parents for an hour which for me was a huge achievement and was celebrated with the treat of a new pair of slippers – how exciting is my life?!
Sunday was a different matter. I find the journey over to my partner’s mum’s quite difficult. In the past I have had panic attacks on our way and so now I almost expect it. We didn’t have to leave until about 2pm and so I busied myself getting ready and took my time. It worked quite well to distract me and so my mind was not focused on the impending journey. I found the journey quite nerve wracking but successfully managed to get there.
I felt my anxiety rising as we were chatting and waiting for dinner and so I had a chat with my partner’s mum and we agreed that I wouldn’t eat. My partner’s mum is very understanding of how I feel and just wanted me to feel comfortable. Once the pressure of knowing I had to eat with everyone was lifted my anxiety retreated a little. In the end I managed to have two roast potatoes and a few slices of a quorn roast. It may not have been a full roast but for me that was a huge step forward.
I’m carrying on taking my baby steps and slowly putting myself back into situations that make me anxious. Saying that I’m very excited for the weekend coming as we have no plans and so there will be no pressures. It’s important to remember that you must find a balance between pushing yourself and taking some time for yourself. Personally, I believe that we all have out limits and at points in our lives we must recognise those limits and know that we are too fragile to push them too far. I know there’ll be people out there rolling their eyes and thinking what rubbish, you can’t give up. It’s not giving up but it’s recognising that sometimes you need to just take a step back and have a moment to yourself. At least that’s what I find works best for me.
How do you approach your anxiety?