Why am I blogging about my Anxiety and Emetophobia? 

Why am I blogging about my Anxiety and Emetophobia? 

I can’t tell you exactly when I started to get anxious because if I’m honest I’m not entirely sure. As a young child I was outgoing, adventurous and full of confidence. However, as the years went by I began to retreat into my shell. I was misdiagnosed with having a phobia of school. I was terrified of going into school and whenever anyone would ask me I would tell them I didn’t know why. Everyone thought I was being difficult but I wasn’t, I was telling them the truth. All I knew was that the thought of going into school filled me with this irrational dread. At around the age of 10 it was decided that I should be home schooled for a while – the effects of my anxiety were taking its toll on everyone. For the whole of year six I was home schooled – I worked hard and my nan was a primary school teacher and so I did the same work as all my friends at school were doing.

We decided that starting Secondary School would be the best for me. I look back and I’m incredibly proud of myself. I had to return to school to all the rumours and questions as to where I had been. I stood up to it and made a new start and formed new friendships. This was my chance to make a success of it. It went really well for around six months until one day I came home for lunch and felt ill. My mum tried to make both her and myself feel better and took me out to the supermarket. The result of which was that I was quite publicly sick. This is not what caused me to have emetophobia but it did not help the situation. Following this I found it incredibly hard to leave the house and was eating about a tablespoon of food for dinner. At the time I had no idea what was going on or that I was suffering from mental health problems. My family did their best and I went back to being home schooled.

As the years went by I began to understand more about my anxiety and my phobia. However, instead of talking about it I became isolated and thought it was something to be embarrassed about and that people would judge me. At the age of 16 I started college where I did my GCSEs and then went on to do my A-levels. Not once did I tell anyone about my anxiety or my phobia. Why would I tell someone, they would just think I was being silly. The three years at college whizzed by and my anxiety barely affected me.

I then went on to University and again I kept pushing myself, at this stage in my life my anxiety was almost non-existent. Despite this, I still didn’t talk about it. It wasn’t the kind of thing you talked about, at least that was how I had been brought up. During my Masters I began to struggle with my anxiety and have done over the past couple of years since. Having taken a step back as an adult and seeing how the world is changing and becoming more accepting of people’s mental health problems I want to talk about my problems. Perhaps if I had known more about mental health as a child or it was openly talked about then things may have been different for me.

I want to encourage people to talk about their anxiety and to show people that they’re not alone. It is something that I feel very deeply about. The movement towards openness in regards to mental health is amazing. All those people that have been suffering alone are slowly beginning to realise that there are others out there. Mental Health problems are as real and debilitating (if not more so) than physical health problems.

How do you feel about this openness towards mental health?

XOXO

14 thoughts on “Why am I blogging about my Anxiety and Emetophobia? 

  1. I talk about it, and try and help anyone I can.

    Mine started in junior school when I would pass out in assembly. I ended up sitting on a chair at the end of the row.

    I wasn’t diagnosed until I came to the states 30 years ago.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The more we can talk about it and support each other the better! I’d imagine a lot has changed in those 30 years since – thankfully the world seems to be becoming more accepting!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Had to Google emetophobia. Sounds ghastly. Anxiety is a nasty illness. Funny thing is with all the online stuff you don’t always notice your not going out. Your world and circles slowly get smaller and its extremely hard to get out and about again. Well you have spread a bit more awareness. Hi I’m Neil I’m 50 and I’m pleased you liked my post, that’s how I found yours

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m very happy that my post led you to google emetophobia and you now know a little about it. I may have to do a post explaining what it is – when you live with something you forget not everyone knows about it. Thank you for your comment and taking the time to understand ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Agree I think I had investigated anxiety a little as a teen etc and knew of mental health somewhat, however hoped I’d snap out of it and did not understand the extent of it until things kinda got outta hand! ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hope that these days there’s more information available to young teens experiencing anxiety 🤞🏼 It can be very lonely experiencing it and not knowing what’s going on and hoping you’ll just ‘snap out of it’

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hope so too, I think teachers and peers should be more aware these days. Perhaps it’s a positive use of social media and things we have now, at least there’s more awareness.

        Liked by 1 person

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