Feeling worthless

It’s taken a while for me to write this post, I’ve had the title saved but just couldn’t bring myself to write. I share a lot on this blog but even I feel that some things are a little too personal. However, I feel that this topic is important and I know that there must be others out there that feel the same way. So, here goes…

Sometimes I feel really worthless.

I know that it’s my mental state that is causing me to feel this way but it doesn’t really help. I’m often unable to do things that I want to because I know my anxiety isn’t ready. This year I have decided not to push myself too much and to understand and respect my own limits. So when I feel like I have to say no to something I feel incredibly frustrated with myself.

Anxiety and depression tend to come hand in hand, however they’re not widely acknowledged as being connected. Therefore, when you have days when you’re feeling depressed you tend to think it’s something else that’s wrong with you – rather than just viewing it as a side effect of your anxiety.

As my anxiety improves I know my self-worth and confidence will increase too. However, for now I have to just get through it.

 

Share your stories below if you feel the same way so that I know I’m not alone!

I find that escaping to Pinterest and reading through the inspirational quotes really helps.

How do you get through it when you’re feeling like this?

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XOXO

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30 thoughts on “Feeling worthless

  1. I used to be on Zoloft for it and it stopped working after a while so I went off of it and am currently not on anything for my anxiety. I use writing as a major coping skill and exercise like walking going to the gym and photography ( includes hiking and blogging ). I can understand the feeling worthless part . I have been struggling with my anxiety for a long time . It took me many years to come to the place you’re at now with trying to work with it and not putting to much pressure on yourself . That is very important. A lot of times when my anxiety is acting up I would just react to it in the past , and just avoid things but slowly over time I would prep myself before entering something that would make me anxious like if I were seeing a new client at work or meeting someone new( social things were my anxiety spark in the past) now it’s mostly just generalized anxiety like about getting things done and being efficient. But when I peep myself and try planning it helps me destress and know that I have a calming plan in place in case I get anxious . Talking about my anxiety when I’m anxious typically doesn’t help lol because then I get anxious that I’m making others anxious so when that happens I try to distract myself by talking with others about something I find really interesting and fun to get my mind out of that anxious place and also music is HUGE . I hope this helps in any way at all . 🙂 great post! Anxiety is rough but we got this !!!

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    1. I can talk about my anxiety when I’m in the comfort of my own home but when out and about I find talking about it brings it on 🙈 It’s a bit of a viscous circle! Thank you for sharing your story – it’s nice to know that we’re not alone ❤️ Always here if you feel like you want someone to chat to xx

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  2. I struggle with anxiety and depression too. There are days my depression makes it hard to get out of bed and I see other people in my life being productive and I feel completely worthless. I just have to tell myself it will pass and focus on self-care. I promise you are not alone.

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  3. Hi Liz, I you seem to handle it very well I think. Sometimes I think those that struggle with these issues don’t give themselves enough credit just for being to push through everyday. Everyday you are able to crawl in bed at night is a success! We all get hung up on being productive. Isn’t getting through your day productive enough? There will always be things that don’t get accomplished. Don’t worry about them. They will still be there tomorrow. Not sure if this makes sense but it’s how I try to live my life. I am about as anxious as they come. So worry less about success and do what you can today and be happy with that.
    RJ

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    1. Thank you for your comment, it’s a nice approach to have 🙂 I think I can often be a bit too harsh on myself but I just want to feel like my old self now.

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  4. My instinct tells me that anxiety, depression and pretty much any other mental disorder is interconnected, it’s this symbiotic relationship that tends to feed off one another. Which I also choose to believe means that motivation, happiness, and being generally healthy is on the opposite end of the spectrum.
    When I am down, and anxiety appears I generally binge watch shows that let me feel something and make me happy at the same time. Lately that’s Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, if only because the shows are hilarious and get super dramatic allowing me to have a cathartic crying session.
    Of course writing, exercise and eating right help tremendously.
    I have gotten much better over the years in understanding, and respecting my anxiety. In some ways I like to think of it as a super power. I am hyper sensitive, but also keenly aware of situations or people who might set me off, and as such avoid those things. For the times when I can’t avoid situations or people who will set me off I plow ahead and tackle the problem head on (I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder over 10 years ago). I have had a long time to develop coping mechanisms.
    By far more than any medication, of which I don’t take any other than Cannabis (I live in Canada and it’s legal here now), having a supportive circle of friends both local and digital makes a huge difference.
    Liz helped me through a tough time yesterday and that means so very much, along with your blog which reminds us all that we are not alone.
    Thank you,
    Brie aka J.Avery Cain

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    1. Thank you, I love your way of viewing anxiety! I’m glad you’re feeling better and that I could be there when you needed someone to talk to! It can be difficult to go through these things on our own. I hope we both continue to make improvements xx

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  5. Thank you for being so brave this within itself should be encouraging for you and your mental wellbeing. There is healing in expression whether that be talking or writing whichever is comfortable with you. Keep being strong. Sharnade x

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    1. Thank you. Writing is definitely a good outlet for how I’m feeling and the fact that I can share it with other people and help them is amazing 🙂 Thank you for your comment, it means a lot xx

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  6. You’re not alone. I can totally relate. I was having an episode of this last night. My roommate forced me to still go out and to try. While uncomfortable throughout the whole ordeal, I still managed.
    When I’m anxious I try a mix of things. I try ASMR videos, watching Markiplier or Smosh Games videos, writing, or just playing something different than what I usually do. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t.
    My roommate this morning told me, you know it’s just an altered mental state. Just remind yourself it’s just an imbalance and that it shouldn’t control you. It felt like a slap in the face but he’s just trying to help in his stupid way.
    I haven’t been medicated yet because my doctor doesn’t want to just yet.
    Thanks for this post Liz, it’s always good to be reminded that feeling worthless is something that happens to a lot of us.

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    1. I’m reluctant to try medication as I feel like it’s something I will have for the rest of my life and so want to learn how to cope with it. I’ve coped with it before so I know it’s possible. Perhaps I’ll change my mind and try medication at some point.

      In my opinion (but I could be wrong) I think you need to recognise its ability to control you and in doing so tell yourself you won’t allow it to. It’s not as black and white as it’s an imbalance and you shouldn’t let it control you.
      I’m glad you found this post helpful and thank you for your comment 🙂

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    1. Thank you for your comment. It’s nice to know that we’re not the only ones. Perhaps sometimes we don’t have to deal with it, we just have to accept that’s how we feel and wait for it to pass?

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  7. Honestly? I don’t know. I know it’s happed before, I know it’ll happen again. I know I come through it and I know what my automatic response will be the next time. But for each time I come out of it I don’t know which technique I used at the time as it happens on autopilot these days and as cliche as it is I remember depressive episodes as brain fog instead of the clarity with which I remember other times.

    After many years and many depressive episodes later I have a range of coping techniques. These range from simple self distraction such as throwing myself into a novel, film series or an RPG. Just something to occupy my mind that isn’t self destructive. For heavier episodes, then I’ll try basic CBT thought exercises. I’ll try to trace those depressive feelings back to their origins. If I can understand where they are coming from then I can address them head on. By doing that I feel like I’m back in charge and taking over instead of being washed along by the blackness. Another thing I find very helpful is just to write absolutely everything down in a stream of consciousness. Once I read it back and it becomes second person narrative the logical part of brain tends to butt in, point out the contradictions, fallacies and effectively make a call that ‘yeah, this reasoning is dumb, I’m taking the controls back’. Sound a bit mad, seems to work for me.

    Finally there are always days when it gets to you and coping techniques have little to no effect. In those times I just have to keep telling myself that I’ve been here before, I’ve beaten it every time. As real as this feels right now, as ‘truthful’ as my gut is telling me it is, I need to listen to the quiet voice that tells me I feel back because I’m sick. I’m weak through illness and therefore vulnerable. Not because I’m broken, or deserve it but because I’m sick. Just like a cold, a stomach bug or an ear infection it will pass, it will get better and I will stop feeling this way. What my job is now is just to ride it out let myself heal.

    Personally the major difference between now and the early days when I had neither the knowledge or experience of beating an episode, has been learning to recognise when one is starting. Learning my tells that I’m on the way down makes hitting bottom a much gentler landing and easier to push back from.

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    1. Thank you for your comment and for sharing your coping mechanisms. We all have to learn our own ways to coping, it just takes time and we have to accept that on some occasions no coping mechanisms will work and we just have to get ourselves through it. It’s comforting to know that each episode will eventually come to an end.

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  8. I write but sometimes that doesn’t feel like a thing to do.. it’s hard when I feel this way it’s hard to focus on something. But I keep trying .. sometime it’s finding a old show and focusing in watching that . And I like to go out on my deck and just absorb some sun.

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  9. I’m pretty sure anxiety and depression are or can be comorbid, like two sides of one coin. When my anxiety was bad, I may have been boderline depressed. Felt that way. My therapist said it could be the case. One of my biggest helps during bad anxiety is heavy personal journaling. I write my experinece out like a detached observer, trying to stay in control in a way. Time pushing through it has helped. Removing as many triggers possible helped.

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    1. They’re definitely interlinked somehow. I may have to put aside a few hours to do some research as it would be interesting to know how they impact on each other. I also find that writing can help and to write down how I’m feeling.
      I like the idea of removing triggers, unfortunately for me the basis of my anxiety is a phobia of vomiting and so my own body is a trigger. We all just have to find our own way through it and support each other so we know we’re not the only ones feeling this way ☺️

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