Weekend update (Flower and the old me)

This was probably one of the best weekends I have had in a while. I felt like the old me, the one who wasn’t constantly crippled by anxiety. Here’s what I got up to this weekend.

Saturday 9th March 

My boyfriend was working today and so I popped out with my family to a local garden centre to their antiques fair. The fair was situated inside a big greenhouse and was incredibly busy. I had a quick walk round but the heat combined with the crowds were beginning to make me feel anxious and so I had to walk out.

I had a walk round outside and felt much better! Being with Ted helped, even if he does spend most of his time ignoring me whilst I try to get him to love me.

Inside the garden centre was filled with plants and flowers (I’ll be honest these flowers are fake but aren’t they gorgeous). I’ve decided I’d quite like a plant for my room and so in the coming weeks I want to do an IKEA trip. I’m excited at the idea of a trip to IKEA but I know it’ll push my limits a little as it will be quite busy and once you get into the shop you have to do a circuit before you can get out again.

Hopefully it’ll be a fun trip to test my anxiousness.

It’s not a trip out if my mum doesn’t insist on getting me in a picture!

Apologies for the turd-like shape on my head, as you’ll see from my next picture there was no point in doing my hair today.

Once home my mum cut my hair for me. I was beginning to feel that it was too long and it was starting to get me down.

Eventually, my boyfriend got home from work and we just had a quiet evening with a roast dinner and a film.

Sunday 10 March 

Here is my slightly shorter hair! I’m very critical of selfies of myself, hence the filter here – sorry if it annoys you! I’m very happy now that my hair is that bit shorter, I think it suits me more.

We popped to an English Heritage site today, Lullingstone. I’m going to do a separate post on it! Although it was only a short drive away I was quite anxious. Once we were there it began to ebb away and by the end of the trip I was feeling much better.

It was still early in the day when we were finished at Lullingstone and so we decided to pop into town to get some bits. As we drove into town it looked like it was going to pour down, I asked my partner whether he thought it was going to rain and he said no. Stupidly, I listened to him and didn’t suggest changing our plans. We parked the car and went to tick off some bits on our list. Half way into town the sky opened up and huge hailstones came pelting down on us. We sheltered in a shop front but there was no sign of the weather letting up.

I decided to tackle my anxiety whilst staying dry and suggested we run into Cafe Nero. It was next door and so the perfect sheltering place. We got our drinks and sat down for a few minutes until the weather dried up. The distraction of the weather prevented me from getting too anxious.

Coffee in hand we picked up some of the bits off of our list. We couldn’t get all we needed and so decided to go onto the next town. As we walked around the shops, just having a little look, rather than ticking off things on our list my boyfriend told me how nice it was that it felt like the old me was back. I was enjoying our little trip out and not thinking about my anxiety.

It was the best feeling in the world. I hope that I can carry this feeling into the coming weeks and continue to grow from it.

The only downside was that me feeling so good meant I was in the mood to shop. I’m not suppose to be doing any shopping as we’re seriously saving and my freelance work is almost non-existent right now. But, I ignored all that and I had a mini shop. I treated myself to a new book, some translucent powder and a new diary. The diary was an absolute bargain! It was half price in Paperchase and so was only £4.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend too 🙂

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XOXO

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