If you’ve been following my blog for a while you’ll know that bank holidays and I don’t particularly get along. I tend to put too much pressure on myself to make them full of excitement and I view them as a chance to really push myself. The last few bank holidays have back-fired quite spectacularly, although it has not always been my fault. You can read about the my last disastrous Bank Holiday here.
This Bank Holiday I have made more of an effort to keep it low-key. I’m feeling quite fragile still after the last bank holiday, the panic attack that I experienced really knocked me for six.
Saturday 25th May –
We had plans with my family today, however after calling them in the morning to confirm they cancelled. I hate having plans cancelled as I then panic as to what to do and it all tends to go wrong. After some extensive debate we decided to go to a local food festival. We’re on a budget this weekend and so thought it would be the perfect cheap outing. Unfortunately, my anxiety had other plans.
Half way to our destination my anxiety began to really play up. We had been sat in a lot of traffic and I could feel my anxiety building up inside of me. I was having flashbacks to the previous bank holiday in which we were sat in traffic for hours. I was at the point where I just wanted to burst into tears and go home. We skipped the tears, however we did turn around and drive home. I felt like a huge failure, I couldn’t even drive half an hour away to a food festival.
We got home and made ourselves some lunch (fried rice – yum!). I decided I had to do something with the afternoon or else I would have let my anxiety get the better of me and it would put me in a bad place for the following day. We decided to just pop into town and have a walk round. We picked up some yummy bits for dinner and headed home.
By then it was still only 2pm, it was still lovely outside and it felt like a waste of a day sitting in. I’d already had a panic and so I knew it was unlikely I’d be faced with another that afternoon. We decided to pop to a bigger local town and have a walk round. We only spent about an hour there but it was nice and I felt much less anxious than I had that morning. I was happy with how the day had ended, I’d successfully replaced the bad experiences in the morning with positive ones.
Sunday 26th May –
We had made the decision to attempt to go to the food festival again today. It still seemed like a fun but cheap trip out. We began the journey and I felt very much on edge, especially with what had happened the previous day. I got up my meditation app and tried to relax. I made it 6 minutes into a 10 minute meditation, however I could feel myself getting more and more anxious towards the end of it and decided to give in and attempt to distract myself in other ways. I’m not sure whether it was the meditation app or just that I felt stronger today but I made it to the food festival.
Unfortunately I didn’t get any pictures at the food festival. It was in the grounds of a castle, however it was somewhat disappointing. It was full of stalls to buy food and eat there, whereas I was hoping there’d be a few more stalls designed to buy and eat later. We walked round the festival rather quickly, followed by a slow walk back to the car. It was only midday and so we decided to drive on to the next town.
I wanted to continue to challenge myself today and so I decided to try having some lunch out. There’s a food court in the town we visited and so we got ourselves some jacket potatoes and grabbed a free table. The food was delicious, however I was quite on edge the whole time eating. I made it through about half of my potato though which I was rather proud of.
My boyfriend and I also had a disagreement as to whether it should be beans then cheese or cheese than beans – let me know which you prefer!
Monday 27th May –
By Monday on a Bank Holiday I’m usually feeling exhausted from the pressure I’ve put on myself and I just want it to end. Today, however was different. I had made a conscious effort not to put too much pressure on myself this weekend and it seemed to work. We had planned a quiet day today, we got up, I put dinner in the slow cooker, we had some lunch and then we went to play some golf.
We haven’t played in ages. Last time we went around a course I got to the seventh hole and had a panic attack and so we had to leave. I’ve been reluctant to try the course again, however we have visited the range a couple of times. We decided to go to the range and see how rusty we were. I had so much fun and I was actually quite good! For once I wasn’t thinking about my anxiety. We only got 50 balls as I didn’t want to feel pressured for staying too long. It was perfect and we were lucky as we got there during happy hour and so it only cost us £2.50!
Once we had finished golf we decided to pop out for a walk. We’ve had some lovely weather this bank holiday but the rain clouds have rolled in – although it makes for some beautiful pictures. We did a loop around the village and to my surprise I didn’t feel anxious at all. Sometimes when I go for a walk the further we get from the car the more anxious I feel but today that wasn’t an issue.
Once we had finished our walk we decided to pop to another village and treat ourselves to a coffee. I didn’t get any pictures there as the rain clouds had rolled in again, it was cold and beginning to spit. We had a quick walk up and down with our coffees but most of the shops were shut and we wanted to get back to the car before it really started raining.
I’m really happy with how this weekend went. For future bank holidays I am going to continue to make a conscious effort not to put too much pressure on myself.
What have you been up to this weekend?
*As a very cheeky side note I would appreciate it if you followed my affiliate link and signed up to Get Blogged https://www.getblogged.net/r/4894261fed-3675 you can read more about it here. I get points for everyone who signs up the the person with the most points wins a cash prize at the end of the month. I’m currently second on the leader board. This website also allows you to search for paid blog posts, depending on your DA.