This month has whizzed by! I feel like it was only yesterday that I was writing my April goal update. I set myself goals each month to help my mental health, you can read my previous posts here:
At the beginning of May I set myself 6 goals, you can find them here. Some of these goals I have successfully achieved, others I have not. Here’s a little bit of information on how I have, or have not, achieved each goal…
Go to London one weekend –
Unfortunately this goal wasn’t achieved this month. We’re busy saving and so money is tight, therefore I didn’t want to plan a London trip just for the sake of it. In addition to this the one weekend we considered going the trains were diverted due to track works. My idea had been to go straight up to Charing Cross and walk over to Covent Garden, however the trains were diverted to London Bridge and I didn’t particularly fancy getting the tube, nor did I fancy walking too far in case I did panic.
This is a goal that I’m happy to take into another month.
Lunch out (either in a pub garden or sat outside a cafe) –
I somewhat I achieved this goal. I’ve been struggling going out a lot lately after the panic attack that I had at the beginning of May (you can read about it here). Because of that I haven’t particularly felt up to eating out. However, towards the end of the month I successfully had a jacket potato in a food court. It wasn’t quite the pub or cafe that I had been striving towards but I didn’t feel up to that and so I feel that I have somewhat achieved this goal whilst staying within my comfort zone. This is a goal that I will continue to attempt to achieve until I feel comfortable eating out again.
Go to my Cervical Screening –
I went to my cervical screening! It took just over a week for me to get my results and I was given the all clear. It was definitely worth the anxiety to know that I’m all clear for the time being – when I get my next appointment I won’t hesitate to book it.
The actual test was fine but I suffered a lot with my anxiety the morning of it. I wrote a post about my experience which you can find here.
Go to Bath –
There were a few anxious moments but we had the most amazing time. I took lots of pictures and I’m going to write a separate post on our time there. I’ll also go into more detail about how I coped with my mental health over the trip.
Catch up with a friend –
My boyfriend had to work a couple of Saturdays this month and so I decided to make the most of it and have a good old fashioned girly catch-up. My grandparents have been in Spain for a few weeks and so I had the house to myself. I thought this was the perfect opportunity as it meant if I wasn’t feeling too great we could just stay in, drink tea and catch up. I was incredibly anxious that morning and had to fend off a panic attack, if my friend hadn’t already have been on her way over I may have cancelled. My boyfriend suggested that I just cancel but I felt bad, she was already halfway into the drive over I couldn’t make her just turn around again. I battled through the anxiety and as soon as she arrived it almost disappeared. I made us some lunch and we popped into town for an hour. I had a really nice time and it was great to catch up.
Go to the supermarket on my own –
As my grandparents were away I knew that the burden of the food shop would fall to me. I was okay with this because I knew it would give me the motivation to go out on my own. However, I only managed to achieve this goal once. As I mentioned above the panic attack that I suffered at the beginning of the month really knocked me. Thankfully, my parents have just moved around the corner and so on my other supermarket trips my mum accompanied me.
Although I only achieved a solo trip to the supermarket once I wanted to talk about another trip I made on my own, which I am proud of myself for. I had the panic attack on the Bank Holiday Monday and on the Tuesday I was feeling horrendous. My whole body ached, I was upset at myself and just generally felt really rubbish. However, my aunt text me saying that she had an appointment and wasn’t sure whether she would make it home in time to pick my cousin up from nursery. Despite how rubbish I felt there was no way I was going to leave him sat at nursery waiting for someone to pick him up. I had to put my little cousin first and ignore how I was feeling.
I fitted the car seat in my car – I think I deserve a medal for this alone! Usually from 2pm onwards I don’t like leaving the house due to school and work traffic, however I also confronted this. At 3pm I left the house and went to pick him up from nursery. He was incredibly surprised to see me and asked me how we were going to drive home (he knows he can’t go in our car as we don’t usually have his carseat in there). I drove him back to his house, made sure he was comfortable and got him a drink. While we waited for my aunt to get home we face timed my nan in Spain and he preceded to tell her that I’m a bad driver! The cheeky little git. Although this wasn’t one of my goals I’m proud of myself for achieving this and putting my fears aside to pick my little cousin up.
What have you done this month that you’re proud of?