This time next week I will (hopefully) be on a plane to Spain! If truth be told I’m absolutely terrified. I’m not terrified of being out in Spain – we’re going to my grandparent’s holiday villa out there. I’ve been going to the villa since I was about 10 and so it’s a home-from-home for me.
What I’m the most scared of is the time at the airport and the plane journey.
My anxiety often arises when I feel trapped somewhere and I’m concerned about how I will feel once I pass through security. I’ll be trapped in a relatively small area with crowds of people just having to wait for our flight. When I’m anxious I like to go outside and have a few moments to myself away from people, however this will be impossible. We’re going to try and wait until the last minute to go through security so fingers crossed I don’t get too anxious. I keep telling myself that in the worst case scenario we can leave and just go straight home. I would feel like such a failure though if this happened and would feel dreadfully guilty about wasting the money on flights and my boyfriend not getting a holiday.
I’m hoping we’ll be lucky and the airport won’t be overly busy and that I’m having a good day with my anxiety – fingers crossed! I’m also nervous about the time on the plane before we’re up in the air – once we’re in the air there’s no going back and I have to just get myself through it. Last year we went to Rome for my birthday and I had a panic attack on the plane home – it was horrible. I had eaten dinner at the airport before our flight and due to a lack of vegetarian and gluten free options I was forced to have risotto. Now, for those of you who don’t know rice is one of the biggest causes of food poisoning. I then convinced myself on the plane that I was unwell and it ended in a panic attack. The worst thing about having a panic attack on a plane is that there’s no space for you to escape to, other than the toilets but I think that would make me feel even worse!
I’m working myself up over what will happen but there are so many different factors to consider, I know that I can’t foresee how it will go. I’m trying to be really organised to distract myself from worrying about it. It’s not working too well though.
Generally my anxiety is a lot worse at the moment because I’m so worried about it. It’s so stupid because I know once I’m there I’ll have a lovely time. The travelling will only be about 6 hours of my day and I’m so worked up about it.
Do you have any tips for calming myself down?