My Doctor made me cry because of my mental health

I booked a doctor’s appointment today for a number of reasons. The first reason being that a couple of weeks ago I was prescribed some tablets to help with my anxiety. These tablets are designed to slow your heart rate and thus relieve you of a number of symptoms associated with anxiety. This was all a fantastic idea, however they made me feel incredibly sick. For an emetophobia sufferer taking anti-anxiety tablets that make you feel sick is incredibly counter productive. I wanted to ask the doctors whether there was an alternative type of medication which perhaps had less chance of nausea as a side effect. In addition to this I have been looking into to getting some financial support. My freelance work is slow and some of it that I am forced to take on to pay the bills has a really negative impact on my mental health. I filled in a form online and they informed me that I also needed a note from my doctor. I made the appointment thinking brilliant I can discuss both issues and if I’m lucky I might even come away with something more helpful. I myself, feel guilty about asking for financial help but I also know plenty of other people do and I’m entitled to. I have to start making decisions that are in my mental health’s best interest.

 

I went through a lot of anxiety sat in the waiting room, until I was called in for my appointment, but I stuck with it. I need help. I’ve been to multiple appointments now about my anxiety, I’ve tried referring myself for CBT, however every time I call I’m told their mailbox is full and to try again another time (I informed the doctor of this). I called another provider who told me their list for counselling was so long they couldn’t even put me on it. They did suggest I sign up for a course in September. I did this but if I’ve not made any improvements over the next few months, I cannot see how I can attend an hour and a half group meeting to discuss my anxiety. Despite all of these pointless leads I haven’t given up yet.

 

I can honestly tell you that this appointment was the worst experience of my life.

 

The doctor chose to address the note I needed for my application first. She told me she couldn’t write one as anxiety is not an illness, I am therefore not ill. This immediately made me feel terrible. Anxiety ruins every day of my life and makes every day of my life a struggle. I’ve felt suicidal from it at points and still often wonder if there’s any point to my life. She clearly didn’t care about any of this though and unfortunately, this was not where the Doctor decided to stop.

 

I explained to the Doctor that I don’t want to consider medication as a long-term solution. She basically told me that I was not helping myself and my only options were long-term medication or the tablets that make me feel sick. At this point I began crying because everyday I wake up to fight my mental health and it takes so much out of me. To then be told that I’m not helping myself because I won’t take medication. In addition to this I have made countless phone calls trying to refer myself for counselling, all of which lead to dead ends. I explained to the Doctor that I have suffered with my anxiety and phobia for most of my life and that I was concerned about taking medication long-term because I feel that once I stop taking it I will be back at square one again. When I explained this to a different Doctor a couple of weeks ago he agreed with me and then tried to find an alternative option for me. Today’s Doctor didn’t even bother to ask any questions about how my anxiety affects me, how it makes me feel and yet here she was telling me if I’m not taking medication then I’m not seen to be helping myself.

 

I was then told that plenty of people take medication for their anxiety and are able to work. I wonder if I had gone in with a physical disability if she would have told me that plenty of people with a disability are able to work with so-and-so medication – or perhaps she would view a physical problem as a ‘real’ illness?

 

I was sat there sobbing and this woman didn’t even offer me a tissue. I know this is a silly little thing but I think it tells you a lot about someone. I know Doctors have a very important job but they do need to have some level of humanity and compassion, especially when confronting mental health problems. As we all know anxiety and depression are very closely linked but she didn’t even take the time to ask if I was also suffering from depression. I felt thoroughly judged and looked down upon because I suffer from a mental health problem. It was like she was already counting the minutes until the next person came into the room, hopefully one with a physical health problem.

 

I’ve never been made to feel so terrible about myself or my mental health. It was a truly horrible experience that I would not wish on another person. I’ve been sat crying for over an hour now and wanted to vent on my blog. It’s also made me realise that there must be others out there who have had similar experiences and for that I am so sorry.

 

I now feel like I don’t want to reach out for help again because what if I get another person like her? I’m also scared if other people feel the same as she does, what if everyone around me is secretly thinking this? Do they all just thinking I’m milking a non-existent ailment for sympathy?

 

This isn’t something I say lightly but I hope one day she gets a first hand experience of mental health problems.

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XOXO

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45 thoughts on “My Doctor made me cry because of my mental health

  1. I am really appalled on your behalf. If you feel able to I would fill in a complaint to PALS. What she said was downright discrimination.

    I am so sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I will definitely be making a complaint. My mum was so angry she rang the surgery up and has started the ball rolling with a complaint to them but we won’t be leaving it there.

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  2. What a horrible day! Well done for sticking it out, I would have wanted to walk out as soon as I realised the Doctor’s attitude. By any chance was she 35+? It probably sounds horrible of me to judge, but I find younger doctors a lot more open and understanding with mental health issues, and they are able to look beyond it when you go in about a physical problem. Try and get an appointment with the nice doctor you mentioned or even change practices to find the right doctor for you. You will find someone who can help and tomorrow is a new day. I like having a shower or bath to “wash away the day” when I’m feeling particular crappy and come out with fresh clothes and try and reboot. Just keep swimming xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 💛 She was over a certain age. I think she’s very much one of those people who don’t believe in mental health problems. I’m speaking to the practice manager tomorrow so hopefully they might be a little more helpful! I had a nice walk to blow it all away ☺️xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. It’s heartbreaking to know that some doctors act this way when they are doctors. I feel like they aren’t professional and can do their job right. I went to a dentist once and was anxious because of anxiety and he called me being childish and being a 15 year old girl. This caused me to have an anxiety attack. I’m still so anxious of going to the dentist but I’m happy to go to one who understands me and who is compassionate. I hope you can find another doctor who cares about your mental health. Anxiety is a real illness. I also suffer from it and it’s so hard. It gets me angry that even a doctor says it isn’t an illness. Mental illnesses are real illnesses and people are dying every day because of suicide. It’s time that there will be better treatment and understanding. I’m here for you 💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How terrible of the dentist! People like this don’t realise what a lasting affect their actions have on us 😫 I actually got home and looked up the word illness and it clearly includes mental illness alongside physical – how terrible that a doctor doesn’t understand that! Thank you for your comment 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  4. very proud of you liz, you continue to get up every day and fight this phobia and other mental health problems which are a result of emetophobia. This doctors treatment of you was deplorable, she is completely ignorant and needs to never be able to bully another unwell person again,. xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So sorry you went through that. I had similar experiences with three doctors and will never go back to them. Doctors that belittle their patients do not deserve to even be in practice. I hope you find someone who can truly empathize with what is happening to you💞

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes it is! My daughter has had that happen too. Her solution is to write a fact based review to warn the next unsuspecting person😊 I think I need to be more like that😄. I hope you find a caring doctor to help you💕

        Liked by 1 person

  6. The moment I read that the doctor dismissed anxiety as not being an illness I have to say I already questioned her competence. I hope you get to see a better doctor! Please don’t let that one doctor stop you from getting the help you need.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m still amazed that she said that tbh! I have an appointment with the head doctor on Monday so hopefully she’s more understanding 🤞🏼 Thank you for commenting 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m so angry reading this – what a disgusting way to treat someone! How can she possibly say anxiety isn’t an illness?! I totally agree with what others have been saying and that you should make a formal complaint. I know the NHS is under a lot of strain but that’s no excuse for a complete lack of compassion under this GP’s part. You did incredibly well for taking the step of asking for financial help, even if it didn’t go the way it should have. Don’t stop until you get what you want – like you said you’re entitled to it and you need to do what’s best for you and your mental health. I’ve had a similar experience with an “old school” GP and it’s just like they completely lack the understanding of mental health problems. I’ve found that the younger GPs are so much more compassionate where they’re fresh out of medical school, but the sad thing is they tend to move on quickly so it’s almost impossible to see the same person twice. Keep strong and I hope you get the help you need 😊 xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m still in absolute shock tbh! Also discovered that she’s lied on my notes to cover it up 😡 I’m definitely going to be taking the complaint further, she can’t be allowed to get away with this! I had a younger GP a couple of weeks ago and he was super understanding so I’m just in shock at the different approaches to doctors at the same surgery! Thank you for commenting ☺️xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My god that’s even worse! It really does make you worry as to what they actually disclose on your notes. Hope you manage to get something out of complaining too – keep us posted! Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  8. What a truly horrible individual. I’m sorry you had to experience this.
    Try another doctor please, and don’t be disheartened, most doctors I’ve met understand mental health and have at least a minimum of compassion, especially the younger gen.
    Stay strong! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I have an appointment on Monday with the head doctor and practice manager 🤞🏼 Going to tell them word for word what she said and I’m not going to let this complaint go! 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It sent my anxiety sky-high but I managed to coherently present my complaint to them and they took it seriously. I’ve been given an appointment with the mental health nurse in August so hopefully something will come from that! xx

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  9. This is absolutely awful. I’m so sorry you had to experience this but please dont let it stop you from getting help. This IS an illness. There are good doctors and bad doctors, just like there are good teachers and bad teachers, good lawyers and bad lawyers, etc. You just happened to run into a bad one. Dont give up trying to help yourself. The fact that you are being this proactive proves just how strong you are and that you can beat this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 💛 I have an appointment next week with a different doctor 🤞🏼 Won’t be letting the complaint go though, she cannot be allowed to treat another person like this! x

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  10. Keep reaching out, Liz. Not every medical professional is so dismissive and uncaring. I had to try so many times to get the counselling, something I still feel is very lucky in an under-resourced, over-worked mental health arm of the NHS.

    You are unwell and it is an illness and they should NEVER dismiss you or the anxiety like that. I’ve had days where even having to go outside to put out bins had me at the edge of wanting to kill myself. My neighbours would have been judging me and my gardening I needed to do would be a reminder of how much I am failing at adulthood. It’s painful and exhausting.

    It’s not the same but always here with an ear for you, regardless of what is going on with me. Hope you know that.

    Keep reaching out, help is there somewhere. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m still so annoyed over it all. I have an appointment next week with the head doctor so we’ll see what comes of that.

      I hope you’re okay and your mums doing well!

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      1. Let me know how you get on with the doctor then, this needs to be addressed. Seriously too. How was the holiday?

        Mum’s doing okay, she’s been moved wards but is still really struggling and she looks like she’s aged about 10 years.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I shall keep you updated! We had a lovely time, just a shame we had to come home.

        Oh I’m sorry to hear that 😔 Perhaps when she’s feeling a little better you can plan some nice things for her, even if it’s just bringing her in some yummy cake! It’s the little things that can really help in situations like this.

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  11. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Here, I’ve no clue where you live, mental health is most definitely considered to be a disability if it affects ability to work.
    I hope your future appointments are a lot more helpful and with people who are supportive and can guide you.
    I know that finding therapy/counselling can be crazy. Have you ever thoughts of doing a mindfulness course? Or an online one? I did an MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course once through Mind that I found really helpful (and would love to do another one).
    Love, light and glitter

    Liked by 1 person

  12. How awful!!!! That is just unacceptable. When I had my stroke, one of the Dr’s accused me of being drunk because my speech was slurred – thank God he wasn’t the guy charged with my treatment or I would never have recovered if they hadn’t acted quickly. I was a complete mess, couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk properly and this asshole says to me and my husband – hmmmm I’d say someone is drunk. It was so upsetting – I was a mess at the time and crying but I understood him and I cried harder. Dr. Forrest – from hell. I wrote a complaint to the medical association and he had to go up in front of panel. They let him off but its on his record. I just wrote a blog about the experience and I was going to include that awful part but I couldn’t write about it without getting angry because it upsets me to this day. For every nut bar there are hundreds of compassionate, intelligent, informed Dr’s so don’t give up and don’t let one bad apple impact your care. I’m soooo very sorry you had to experience that!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 💛 That’s absolutely disgusting of your doctor to have thought you were drunk! He doesn’t deserve to practice again. I’m glad you found someone better qualified to look after you!

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  13. Oh my what the heck …do not let this one Dr. make you feel bad and make you think all doctors are this way. The good Dr.’s have compassion. and would have helped you more. I hope you can file some kind of complaint on her. She should not be able to take care of people this way. So sorry .❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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