Monday 29th July –
I’ve had a lot on my mind recently and it’s making it difficult for me to sleep. My mind races with thoughts and conjures up a million different outcomes to each scenario. Last night I got to sleep at 3am and so unsurprisingly I felt quite rubbish today. I stuck to my plans of just sitting at my desk and working. I treated myself to some blog writing time in an attempt to improve my mood. My anxiety is really getting me down at the moment and every bad thing that happens to me feels like it’s karma for my mental health problems.
Tuesday 30th July –
This picture is the perfect representation of how I have been approaching life lately. I’ve given up trying to please other people and put myself first. Whilst in some ways this has been fantastic it’s also pushed me back into my shell and I’ve used it as an excuse to stay within my comfort zone. I decided enough was enough and I did something different today – I spent the afternoon at my aunt’s with my little cousins. It was so nice to get out of the house and have a good catch up with my aunt in between playing with the kids. It reminded me that although I didn’t feel like going out, sometimes it’s worth it and I’ll have a good time. My aunt had suggested we pop out in the afternoon but I didn’t quite feel ready for that. Instead we stayed in, drank tea and had a good gossip. I didn’t feel too anxious and really enjoyed my afternoon – even if most of it was spent helping my aunt fill beanbags!
Wednesday 31st July –
Today’s been a quiet day. My cousins are over at my grandparents and so I’ve escaped to my parents for some peace to get some work done. My mum picked me up to save me having to drive over and we had a little walk around Sainsburys on our way. My anxiety was there but I could cope with it. I’m feeling much better this week. We’ve also had some good news about something which has been a huge weight off of my shoulders. Its been getting me down as we’ve been in limbo for quite a while now – hopefully there’s an end in sight.
Sometimes when I go over to my mums I pick my outfits carefully. My mum’s a keen photographer and loves anything vintage looking. Since I didn’t feel like having my picture taken today I went for these very bold River Island stripe trousers – sorry mum!
Thursday 1st August –
The weather is so up and down here, it flips between cold and rainy to hot and sunny in the space of minutes. Dressing for each day is a real chore. Today I went over to my parents to do some work and then popped out in the afternoon with my mum. We walked around the antique shops in their local village. My mum was determined to buy something but I managed to talk her out of it – she really didn’t need a half rotten chair. My mum loves anything old and quirky, which while nice to look at you don’t always want it in your house. I felt relatively okay today, I’m trying out a new medicine to help settle my stomach and I have to say today was the most settled it’s felt in months.
Friday 2nd August –
It’s another crazy day of weather. When I first got dressed this morning it was sunny and so I put on a jumpsuit, however whilst sitting and doing my make-up it became overcast and I decided bare arms probably weren’t the best of ideas. Fridays are usually my catch up days, however my cousins are round again today and so I decided to ask my mum if she wanted to pop out for an hour in the morning to break the day up. We popped to a local retro shop that is closing down soon and mum picked up a partially armless mannequin and a 70s style dress. I told you she likes quirky and weird.
Mum insisted on getting some photographs of me in the dress, however I was not in the mood. If any of them turn out well I will share them with you in a future post.
What have you been up to this week?