It’s been a while now since I last checked-in with you all and told you about how I’m feeling with my mental health. Now seems like a good time to document how I’ve been feeling lately. To sum it up in one word I’ve felt frustrated. It’s dawned on me recently that my mental health has been spiralling out of control now since the end of October. It won’t be long until we reach the anniversary of when I caught Norovirus. I’ve been frustrated because if anything I feel in a worse place now than I did in the weeks following the event.
Recently I’ve reached out for help from professionals and I hope something will come from that. I’m reaching a point now where I feel like I’m just wasting my life waiting to get better. This year I hit 25, a quarter of a century and I feel as though I have very little to show for my time on this planet.
My panic attacks have improved, however I have a lot more general anxiety. I have improved in the sense that sometimes when I go out after a while the anxious feeling leaves me. On the other hand, I am more anxious about going out. On a number of occasions lately I question why I’m putting myself through this? Why am I forcing myself to have a panic and feel ill for the day just to pop into town? Perhaps it would be different if I had a purpose for going out, often it’s just to get out at the weekend. I’ve taken a step back and stopped forcing myself to do things for other people. I need to look out for myself right now and everyone around me has to respect that. Usually I would put myself out and put myself in situations I didn’t want to be to please others but I’m not doing that at the moment. I’m not risking harming my mental health for the benefit of someone else.
The one improvement since October is the depression. I have more happy days than sad days now. Sometimes I have a blip and I question what I’m doing and whether I have any purpose in life, thankfully those days are becoming rarer. I truly believe that blogging helped the depression side of my mental health troubles. It gave me a purpose, allowed me to express myself and most importantly it connected me with some truly amazing and supportive people. Blogging reminded me that I’m not alone on this journey, or in how I am feeling. There’s confidence in solidarity.
So to sum it up I’ve taken five steps forward and four steps back. I guess I should be grateful that in some aspects I have improved. I still feel like my life is on hold though. I’m frustrated because I’m ready to lead my life again and stop anxiety holding me back. Hopefully with the help of some mental health professions I can achieve this.
I’d love to hear from you all about how you’re coping.
XOXO
Even if it is five forward, four back still be proud of yourself – small victories are still victories! You’re doing amazingly well and things will get better 😊 I know what you mean about feeling like you’ve not really accomplished much as I feel exactly the same sometimes! It’s so hard to get rid of those feelings 😩 keep going, you’re doing fine! Xx
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Thank you ❤️ It feels like I should have my life together now but I don’t think I’ve ever been so far away from sorting my future out 😫 I’m hoping it’s just a mid-late twenties thing 🤞🏼😆xx
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Anxiety is a tough one to overcome. I have a lot of it myself. It sounds like you are doing what you need to be doing. I agree that small victories are still victories! Just keep pushing along!
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Thank you ☺️ It’s a tough one to fight! Hope you’re doing well x
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Mental health really is a case of celebrating every victory, no matter how small! I felt like I was going nowhere with my anxiety but one day I woke up and realised just how far I had come. Tiny steps feel slow and frustrating but they’re still steps! xxx
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That’s true! 🤞🏼 Well dome for tackling yours and seeing an improvement ❤️ I know the strength it takes xxx
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All victories no matter the size is valid! I feel the same with my own recovery. Anxiety is hard in general to manage because it’s so up and down. Some days you feel like you can take on the world and other days you feel like the world can take you down in an instant. You got this though! I’m glad to hear you’re identifying what you need and going towards it. Keep up the great work! 🙂
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Thank you ❤️ It’s so tough waking up one day and feeling almost ‘normal’ and then the next feeling bad again! It feels like a step back. We can and we will tackle this though 👏🏼
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All in this together for sure!
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You’re never going through this alone Liz, no matter how much it may feel like that at times. We’re all here for you and want to see you continue to improve. As amymayj said, five forward, four back is still one forward. Progress is progress, no matter how gradual. Be proud that you can find the strength to face up to anxiety and make the effort to leave the house. Be proud that you write so wonderfully and that people have related to it and followed you. Be proud to be you. 🙂
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Thank you ☺️ Blogging has definitely been a huge part of my recovery so far and connecting with others that feel the same way. Hope you’re feeling a little better every day
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I truly am. It’s a slow process but taking each day as it comes. 🙂
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That’s good to hear ☺️ I had a knock back on Monday night but trying to fight back! I think us anxiety sufferers deserve recognition for how much fight we have in us!
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I think so too. Sometimes, getting up and trying to be a functioning adult human is nigh on impossible. I wish I could blink out of existence from time to time.
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My daughter is turning 25 and her worry is she hasn’t accomplished too much .. I think it’s the wrong way to feel… I understand how people feel this way but I believe and you do not have to agree lol but if your working on making yourself happy , your a kind person, you work hard , then you are accomplishing things in life. Life is too short to think otherwise . One day at a time . I’m proud of you of how your doing with your anxiety . Hugs girl❤️
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I’m hoping it’s just sometimes everyone feels at this stage of life 🤞🏼 I compare myself to where my parents and grandparents were at this age but I guess times are different. Thank you ❤️
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Yes my daughter always compares where I was at her age .. but I told her not to times were different back then. Cheaper less requirements for things . Just keep doing what you need to do you are doing fine.❤️
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