My anxiety has taken a lot from me over the last couple of years, including my confidence. I’m often afraid to do anything on my own as I’m scared of how I will cope if I have a panic attack. I know avoidance is not the best approach to this and I am slowly trying to build my confidence back up. You will very rarely find me doing something on my own, I usually always make sure someone is with me. I’d like to work on this. I’m very happy in my own company and would love to regain my confidence to pop out on my own or go and grab a coffee by myself. I just get scared that I’ll have a panic attack and I lack the necessary confidence to get myself through it.
My anxiety is overwhelming at the moment and when I’m in a bad situation I look to others to help me. This needs to change and deep down I know that I would get myself through that situation and it would all be okay. I just need my confidence to catch up with my brain. I hope that with the help of some mental health professionals I can grow my confidence alongside coping with my anxiety.
I’ve built my confidence up before, I know I can do it again.
How my confidence has fluctuated over the years –
Throughout my life my confidence has been up and down. As a child I was very confident and inquisitive, however as my anxiety got a hold of me I began to retreat into my shell and with it my confidence deteriorated.
At around the age of 16 I started college and my self-confidence was very low. At this point I still had confidence in my abilities, just not in myself. My grades were good, however, I was incredibly shy and felt that socially I didn’t have much to contribute. I gained a small but close group of friends during this time and with them I was open and somewhat confident. Looking back I was about to change so much as a person, I just wish I had found my confidence during college and really made the most of it.
As the years passed by my confidence grew and grew. At University there was no stopping me. I was the first to answer in-class questions and would also strike up a conversation with someone. My confidence in my abilities was still strong and my self-confidence had grown enormously. This newfound confidence stayed with me until quite recently. Over the last two years it has slowly been deteriorating to the extend that I have no self confidence at the moment.
I have very little confidence in my abilities or generally in myself. On a logical level I understand that this lack of confidence is due to my mental health, however it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with. As the weeks pass by and my confidence remains low it becomes more entrenched, however I’m determined not to let it win. I will regain my confidence and I will be happy to go out and support myself again.
Tell me about your experience with confidence and mental health –
I’d be really interested in doing a group post sharing everyone’s experiences of how their mental health has impacted on their confidence. If you’d be interested in contributing then please drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org